Job 42: 12
I must admit when I lost the absolute love of my life, Magai, that was the last straw. Over the last few months all that I felt made me, me, has been lost. I began to think what else could I lose? It never dawned on me I could lose my life companion. So when it happened, I was defeated.
I know how Job felt. He lost all his property, his servants, and his livestock. Then he lost his sons. He wondered, as we would, What is going on? Prophetically he reasoned in Job 1:21
“Naked I came from my mother’s womb,
and naked I will depart.[c]
The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away;
may the name of the Lord be praised.”
Still, Job was perplexed.
We all need to remember we come into this world with nothing and surely we will leave the same way. Nothing is forever but God.
The test on Job grew. He was afflicted with painful boils from head to toe. He began to question as the pain competed with his faith. I know how he felt. Just when my faith was being tested I turned to my demons and said, Have your way, take me, I surrender.
It did not take family and friends to tell me to curse God and die. It was me saying I shall die. Worse I was resonant with this, by my own hands.
In Job 10:1 he says
“My soul loathes my life;
I will [a]give free course to my complaint,
I will speak in the bitterness of my soul
Oh, how I can relate to these words of Job.
But I had been here before. When I lost my family, when I was homeless, when I was hungry I was ready to quit. I would ask myself, How can an educated Lawyer be homeless, eating .29 cent cans of cat food, and liking it. How was this possible?
The message I received was “Hold On” Remember my promise. “Hold On my child.”
Eventually, things grew better. At one point I had a brand new car, a 2200 sq ft four bedroom home, and Magai. Oh but how quickly one’s faith can be shattered.
Job, after listening to shallow advice and arrogant instruction, begins to wonder, Where is God?
When I placed my beloved Magai in a shipping crate to carry him because he was too weak to walk, I wondered Where is God? When my Magai lay on the table covered by a towel, his last breath gone, I asked, Where is God?
Then like Job, I began to justify myself. God, I have ministered to the dying. I have ministered to the brokenhearted, I have ministered in 15 states and a territory, I have given my life to those in the midst of despair and hopelessness. Lord, why do I deserve to lose so much?
When God had enough of Job, God asked;
“Who is this who darkens counsel
By words without knowledge?
3 Now [a]prepare yourself like a man;
I will question you, and you shall answer Me
In other words, who are you, Man up, I ask the questions and you answer.
God continues to bring humility to Job in 38:3-6 and asks;
“Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth?
Tell Me, if you have understanding.
5 Who determined its measurements?
Surely you know!
Or who stretched the [b]line upon it?
6 To what were its foundations fastened?
Or who laid its cornerstone,
7 When the morning stars sang together,
And all the sons of God shouted for joy?
God reminds Job He is the Almighty, He is the creator, He is the omnipotent one, He is the morning glory, He is the Lily of the Valley. God, yes God. The Center of Our Joy!!
I receive this Word of God as “Hold On”, wait one minute. God knows what you are experiencing. More, He knows why we are experiencing it. The Word of God is clear, “Hold On.” For I have promised, Never Would I leave you, Never Would I leave you Alone!!
And so as a child of God I sincerely apologize to any who have read my words of faithlessness and been misled by them. To any whom I may have betrayed with my hopelessness, I stand convicted and I repent. To any who may be faced with conditions seemingly beyond their strength, I say “Hold On.” Because God knows what you are going through. “Hold On” because nothing is too hard for God.
In verse 42:12 we read
Now the Lord blessed the latter days of Job more than his beginning;
God blessed Job because Job held on.
My beloved, my message is “Hold On”. God is faithful and God loves us. When trouble comes God is there. There is nothing God will not do for those who love Him. Hold On my Brothers and Sisters because trouble won’t last always. Hold On my beloved because after the storm comes the rainbow, after the rainbow, comes the blessing.
Hold On. 
